Positivity

 

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sometimes

I need a reminder

to stop always looking at

the ass-end of life

and seek out the affirming.

My glimmers are

books

crafting

napping

a recovery meeting or three

cooking

affirmations

meditation

star trek binges

cartoons

blasting heavy metal music.

Hmmmm

I glimmer a lot

especially on weekends

but that's good.

Weary of the haters

Lately

seems like every time 

I open my mouth

to share my truth

which is also often

TRUTH

( and shared, often)

I am getting in trouble.

Shades of childhood

with mom yelling at me about 

how selfish I was for

declaring my feelings or having needs.

Shock. I was such a jerk as a kid. NOT.

Shadows of young adulthood

when people would either run away

when I vocalized my reality and pain

(okay, loudly)

or chastise or somehow 'punish' me

to achieve my silence and compliance.

Really? Haven't women been oppressed

enough through history? And so you are

going to call me a slut or a lesbian

or fire me or break up with me

because I said 'no' or challenged something?

Social media is now just a new way

for anonymous others 

(like a bunch of fucking chickens)

(who need punched in their whiney, secret/lying mouths)

to 'spank' me for speaking out, 

for using ALL of my words

for protesting bad behavior

injustice

discrimination of any type.

And so...my usual refrain:

FUCK YOU.

All of you.

I don't care.

I'm not shutting up.

I'm not going away.

(You go away. You fucking go away.

Further. Yes, further. Yes...you.

Yes, you. And then...

...when you get there...

...FUCK OFF SOME MORE.)

Cleaner

Staying single this last year

...after deciding to get and

stick to that status...

has been an adventure

not unlike my early sobriety.

I know it is good for me

and that I desperately need to do it

and I feel so much better mentally and emotionally

and the peace in my home and my head is unheard of!

But...I miss the companionship and 

the occasional intimacy.

I sure don't miss the bullshit, though.

I'm not sure whose b.s. it was

mine

or his/theirs

but it's not present right now.

However that works

I'll take it.

"Clean" - Taylor Swift

Power

Discrimination

Marginalization

Minimization

Segregation

Abomination

Unnatural

Perversions of god's plan.

Call it what you want,

But...

people, 

most especially and mostly white males, 

claim that these are their 

social and historical rights:

status and entitlement and

alleged genetic superiority

and 

god-given privileges.

Or,

it's tradition

and

the way 'it' has always been done.

Let's get real, real honest here.

It's really all about power.

Every 

fucking 

bit 

of 

it.

Don't you dare state that 

god, any god

gave you these rights.

Quit trying to dress up 

and justify and rationalize

your willful blindness,

your deliberate, assholish ignorance, 

your lazy, comfortable entitlement, 

your unwillingness, 

...violent unwillingness...

to give others the rights 

and privileges and power that 

you were given by an accident of birth.

A fucking accident of birth, 

you fucking pricks.