I win

my mom once told me to be careful about

fighting and being the winner

vs. the loser

because one might have to live with

the loser afterwards...

so was it really worth winning?

I've let that idea guide me

but sometimes to my detriment.

I needed to win

on that day

and what I was winning was

me

my identity

my desires

my needs

my hopes

my dreams

my food abstinence.

No regrets.

did what I had to do

and, really, the other party won the same:

themselves, intact.

No one should have to cut off,

repress

discard

ignore

parts of themselves

to have a relationship/friendship

with someone else.

That's not healthy

or desirable.

Be yourself.

I will and am.

"Sober" by Pink