Fearing the future
Rarely in the present
or in my body
my mind always off somewhere
disassociated
obsessively reliving trauma and crisis
role playing future drama and challenges
my poor body got left behind most of the time
becoming a dusty, broken down wreck
with poor care and minimal habitation
****
Amazed at each finger, how it curls and extends
the movement and sway of hips in snug-fitting jeans
aware of every inch of skin, every touch, every freckle
every change in temperature
sudden shocks of pain in long-abused feet
slow simmering arousal, lower abdomen pulsing with life
my life
the rotation of the wrist, a miracle of divine engineering
hair a super heroine cape around the head and shoulders
random bruising on arms and legs a study in memory and activity
***
The joy of being in the present moment actually
being present, mentally present and fully plugged in
inhabiting this incredibly tolerant machine of a body
it responds astonishingly well to good nourishment, exercise,
mental gymnastics, physical gymnastics (*wink*)
just plain every day use, being used, being inhabited
being loved
by me
and
with a higher power roommate in my head
these are some pretty cool digs to be living in
at long last