Thought think

It's not what I thought
being married again
nothing is a unilateral decision now
It's not what I thought
sharing a living space with another
who knew how profoundly the small stuff would bug me?
It's not what I thought
after five years of very welcome solitude
so many days I'd rather be lonely again
It's not what I thought
being encouraged to come out of this private known space
dang, it is is hard to open up - it's comfie in here
It's not what I thought
to share fiercely guarded Saturday mornings with an ambivert
missing those many solitary weekends when I never even spoke to anyone
It's not what I thought

It is what I thought
struggling with opening my inner world to him
he sees it but still has no idea the depth and breadth and privacy
It is what I thought
being irritated to be awoken on my one day to sleep in
really? must we slam doors, clump around, and not shush the dogs?
It is what I thought
navigating the shared waters of finances, housekeeping, planning
though I still want to be in absolute control, must strive for mutuality
It is what I thought
still longing for intimacy that is rarely available from the average male
I don't why I even thought it would possibly be different this time
It is what I thought

Inspired by and posted for NaPoWriMo - Day 8