(old) and (former) friends

why...?

the snubbing?
the cutting remarks?
the aloof noses?
the distant airs?
the elusive (non) commitments?
the junior high clumping of whispers and looks?

Has this been going on all along
and I just now noticed
(pardon me for being happily busy)
or am I late to the 'party' of '*sniff* look at her'?

or was there a precipitating event
or attitude or person that I missed as well?

I have no idea what happened
to change your collective attitudes and
treatment of me

I thought we were still friends
no matter what
but evidently
I am not 'doing'
something that I was supposed to
be doing
or not doing
something that I was supposed to
be not doing

like not ostracizing and/or evicting a certain person permanently from my life

like not falling completely apart in the face of
       divorce and illness and financial devastation

like not running to you in desperation with my problems
        but figuring them out with a little help from a Friend

like finding a really nice MAN to brighten up my life
        instead of cloistering myself in disappointed bitterness

like being and becoming happy despite all others' expectations and
        mean-spirited hopes of me falling on my face
        and staying fallen?

I didn't. So there!

Or are you feeling threatened or less than yourselves
because I am still a member of the groups
we met through
and I am still attending
and I haven't seen ANY of you show up at
any of them
in years.

Humph.

The world may never know.

(Or care. I don't, now.)