NaPoWriMo...and beyond... Prosey poetry and free verse. Unapologetically real recovery. My words, my life, my experience.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Survival
Why? a thousand excuses
a million rationalizations for
excessive using/behavior. The
problem is honesty:
what is subtly deeply hidden underneath
drives the drive to obliterate
brain cells physical health consciousness
to survive another night.
Not surviving is also the goal.
Revelation rarely transpires.
Why? Physical financial social devastation
not sufficient to bring to mind the
sufferings of previous days weeks months years decades.
Reality jailbreak necessary, this
physical manifestation of a
mental obsession
with escape disassociation blackout.
Why? The festering wounds of childhood and
love will not be healed aired honored by immersion in
alcohol substances sex food excess.
Camouflage accumulates
acute pain becomes timeless
we become so numb we don't even
know we are hurting ourselves.
Why?
Survival.
(Posted for Free Write Friday, "Addiction", 7/29/11)
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in time, the numbness will cease, and life will creep in. You will learn to love again. to see beauty once again.
ReplyDeletehugs,
Love and light,
Luna
one won't realize it until consequences hit.
ReplyDeletebeautiful topic, you rock.
A++
Powerful and profound piece
ReplyDeletePlus I was reminded today that rational recovery is neither. Great write.
ReplyDelete