Just because (an epiphany)

Just because
you are mentally ill

doesn’t mean that 

you could not possibly have 

bad intentions.

Just because you say nice things
to my face

very sincerely 

(BUT this is actually 

gaslighting!)

doesn't mean 

you weren’t actively 

undermining me in 

every other area.

I kind of knew

all along

(dang that ever present 

self doubt)

but in my eagerness 

to please

to fit in and

to be of service,

I dismissed 

my misgivings,

my very 

(always dead-on accurate)

intuition

about you.

But now NOW 

I see clearly 

see it, 

SEE you.

As I think back over 

the last almost two years,

I realize

that I have been 

working with 

the most cunning and 

polished

narcissist I have 

ever met

and because 

I did not recognize you,

in the fog of your

blandishments and 

bullshit and 

oh-so-cunning 

manipulations, 

you almost destroyed me.

But,

like all of your kind,

you cannot sustain either

the destructive behavior

and false assurances,

the hoovering of other’s

tears and smiles,

rage and laughter

(all often generated 

by you),

while you smugly

sit back 

with your sycophants 

and feed and

grow fat(ter) on

other’s fear and 

misfortune and

confusion.

and trusting lack of

self awareness.

And so you leave 

to find 

new victims,

new energy sources,

new flying monkeys,

before you are 

completely unmasked 

here, 

though you would,

of course,

heatedly deny 

(and! attack! me!)

any and all assessments 

and conclusions

spoken aloud by me,

though you know 

that I know

and I know that 

you know that 

I know

now.

And the saddest part is

that I will not be

the only one

gratefully healing in

the relieved void

you will leave

in your self-righteous 

delusional

wake

though most will 

never understand

what hit us.

“Knowing the Narcissist”