I am proudly a product of our times
culturally influenced to need and want certain things and behaviors
but also physically and mentally hard-wired with
(however that came to be)
to desire to be cherished, loved, committed to
honestly, fearlessly, without violence/abuse/neglect.
Not all of that seemingly innate and cultural influence is bad
or undesirable or wrong or preposterous.
Romance, for example.
Popular culture also gives (inflicts) many ideas
upon a person on how to conduct a relationship
to make the potential or actual partner feel valued and wanted.
Here's how NOT to do it:
Don't talk endlessly about how much the dead/divorced partner is missed
Don't remind the new person how long it has been since that person passed/left, to the day and hour
Don't force the other person to repress their desire to celebrate holidays, birthdays, anniversaries
Don't minimize expressing emotions or commitment, yours or theirs
Don't get lost in grief, regrets, pain, anger, bitterness...and lose what is right in front of you
Don't act like the other's needs and wants are unreasonable, immature, stupid, weird, kinky
Don't hold back or measure out emotions, affection, commitment, yours or theirs
Don't be oblivious (deliberately or inadvertently) to another's dreams and hopes
Don't treat them like (or tell them that they are) a piece of ass
If you want it and you want to keep it...act like it.
Every day.
Not just when you want to get laid or are under threat of becoming single.
Pretty simple, right? Even when one is being gently prodded, nay, warned?
Not for some.
And if you don't want it...really don't want them on the level they want you...then let them go.
Any questions?
Day 1, NaPoWriMo 2019. Prompt: "write poems that provide the reader with instructions on how to do something"
Bryan Adams "Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman"