Friday, October 30, 2015


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After snuggling in a chrysalis
wrapped in loss, abandonment, and isolation
she finally gets too big for it.
And so it cracks open
tiny bulges and then bigger ones
a tiny hernia then two then three
size expanding rapidly
as legs and arms and head
poke out.
Delicately climbing out of the shroud and
standing on newly unsteady feet,
she uncoils to her full height, and then
senses a velvety unknown weight
resting between her shoulder blades.
Instinctively, she flexes her back muscles
and feels jewel toned wings slowly unfold,
fully radiant translucently magnificent.
Flexing gently, she marvels at
their emerging brilliance as they dry,
one foot on the chrysalis
discarded and somehow so much tinier
than it was a few minutes ago.
She pins its fluttery papery substance
with a toe, momentarily,
thinking she might need it again,
not understanding yet that
it will never fit her
never be enough
ever again, and so
as her wings billow strongly around her
her brilliant green eyes gaze upon the world
so lately ignored
she prepares to fly.

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Trust vs fear

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I guess I blew it
when I allowed fear
to overtake me
over a small hitch
in communication
and I wouldn't let it go,
wouldn't forgive,
wouldn't love.
How many times will it take
before I learn to trust despite
small unintentional cuts
that certainly aren't the axe blows
of previous relationships?
I fear I really screwed it up
this time
and there may not be
another chance.

Monday, October 5, 2015

Autumn inner child

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Oh they are happy today
the little and the big
because they were heard
and loved.

They scatter in the park of my mind
skipping and swinging and shouting
chasing late butterflies and bugs
leaping wildly through piles of leaves
deeply inhaling the crisp scent of frost and apples
scribbling sidewalk chalk vistas on
every available speck of concrete...

...instead of weighing me down with
fatigue and worries and fears
paralyzing my life, emotions, and dreams.

The freedom is intoxicating.