Sadly waning

How do I deal with
the lack of plans
the lack of planning
the complete submissiveness to others
the random disregard for my schedule
   and availability

I don't like
getting only the crumbs of your attention
the leftover bits of time others haven't demanded
the half assed offering of future plans
   that likely won't manifest

I am starting to understand
the resentments of ex's about your
involvement with your family and
  the emotionally incestuous relationships

I heavily resent
your lack of motivation or dreams
   except as relates to others
and the studied helplessness
   in so many areas of your life
the victim mentality doesn't become you
   or our nascent relationship.

I heartily dislike
the long emotional speeches
the practiced patter of expressed sentiments
the false self who unconciously operates dishonestly.

I am bored and irritated by
  the religion and belief statements
  boldly in my face though
  I have clearly stated I don't like that
  it feels like a whip across my soul

Freedom beckons, sanity calls, life
  without resentments or wondering what's real
  knocks at my front door
  once again.