Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Early morning musings of an abused child

The dark before dawn
is safest.
The sun yet an eastern
pixilated hope.
The stars faded and flickering out.
The moon retired to dusky sheets.
It's quiet.
The parents are dozing, recharging
the molester/monster is sated
or dead
sisters vigilantly sleeping.
I lay breathing, listening for the
ominous creak
of warning floorboards,
my soul chilling, shriveling.

The adult me drives to work
inky paths securely traversed
in a snug cocoon of metal,
watching other brave lights
sleepily creeping along
black streets.
Well being purls through
my limbs, warming, soothing.
My employer's building
glows in the near distance,
a holy city of soft
white light on a hill
welcoming me to
another day of
clarity.

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Three Jacks









The last of the three Jacks
passed away today.

These three sober men were
my heart,
my courage,
my balance.

Jack H.
bold in the face of
my anger
playful, joking me
out of my despair
admiring me for the
woman he knew
I was but had yet
to reveal.

Jack M.
fatherly mentor
Catholic titan
understanding my
family issues and
willing to step away
but showing up for
me anyway, on that
most important day.

Jack R.
spiritual giant with
a heart that spanned
the imperfect world
always encouraging us
to give others yet another
chance to say 'yes'
joining two. disparate
souls into one family

Mourning the last one today
as he joyfully runs to his
Creator's arms.

Jealous of his surety
of his God's Love
but he was always sure.


Friday, December 6, 2013

One day my lover

Image credit













Disappointed.
Disillusioned.
Again.
The usual male behavior
has not disappeared
or matured
with age.
I refuse to lower
ever
my standards for
yet another loser.
How do others do it,
the long term
the tolerance of bad
behavior, the acceptance
of indifference or
manipulation of the
heart on my sleeve?
My eyes meet the
horizon and
continue to
hope
for
a next time.