Oh, it's so nice to see you.
But you've gained a lot of weight.
And how is your husband?
Looks like he is still drinking heavily.
Yes, thank you for noticing I've lost weight.
My boyfriend cooked me a gourmet dinner last night!
Yours didn't even come home and hers was
passed out by dinner time.
Dad is so nice to let me and Dude stay with him.
Look at me, look at me, I'm an attention hog!
Oh, she's just six years old - and so full of energy!
Up for the Laziest Parent Award again this year, are we?
Don't you think my boyfriend, Dude, is the handsomest guy ever?
Unlike your tattooed mess of a husband/ex/lover/child.
Yes, I'm very proud of my daughter making honor roll.
Yours seems to be going for 'most slept with' in her junior year.
Going to Mass daily is one of the best choices I've ever made in my life.
Totally dissimilar to your choice to ignore your children, right?
Exercising every morning at 5 am just gets my day off to a great start!
Interesting what a masochistic idiot you are, even in your forties.
Are you still going to that little AA class of yours?
I just can't imagine how you live life without drinking/drugging!
...though you WERE a bad one.
Guy is just the absolute love of my life and treats me like gold.
Just like the last six losers who wouldn't marry you.
My relationship with my Savior has just changed my life.
Is that why you and Bubba got divorced last year?
Please let me tell you all about my church family.
So, I'm obviously not really family for you anymore, right?
Isn't it great that your dad is already dating?
Oh sure, dating a crazy woman within months after mom died.
Grunt just loves my kids like they were his own.
Hmmm...evidently that's how you justify ignoring them.
I could never have kids - I love my dogs too much.
Another excuse for selfish narcissism - whatever!
God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change,
the courage to change the one I can,
and the wisdom to know that one is me
- especially during this upcoming weekend.