Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Fear re-experienced

Love for my baby daughter
led to the decision to be different,
different than my parents were, to
be a better mother and father than the
ones I was given.
So many moments of my
childhood were full of fear,
anxiety and abandonment.
I wanted more for this tiny
being that God had gifted me with
so unexpectedly.
I think I did well at seeking that difference,
so that all those pivotal moments of childhood,
my daughter strode into with confidence,
leaving me with wistful, joy-filled tears and
healing for the similar, painful
moments of my own history.
Kindergarten, she ran through the classroom door,
arms outstretched with joy while I watched,
scared she would be hurt or disappointed.
She wasn't - she bubbled with new life.
At each new school and middle school
and high school, buildings and playgrounds were
her oyster and I stood at the curb,
weeping with anxiety at our separation as
she shrieked in high-pitched delight
at the sight of potential new friends as
well as old ones.
She never saw my tears, though; she
always looked forward, not back.
So many other moments like these,
she charged into her life whole-heartedly
so unlike the fearful, tentative approval-driven
child I was. Thank God I had the courage
to re-experience my own fear in order that she
could see life as an exciting challenge
rather than a scary, undesirable never-ending night.

(Posted for Thursday Poet's Rally, 6-30-11)


  1. Well done! A story well told and well lived. I know mothers like you, and they are treasures to this world.

  2. Completely taken in by this one. Beautiful truth, Marvell bravery, wonderful result.

  3. Once again... *smile* Your words become images in my head and I can feel them, those moments. Are you getting tired of me saying I adore your writing yet?

  4. yes, you are different from your parents and unique and beautiful.

    love the insights.
    well done,

    Happy Rally.

  5. Yes, every adult is a product of their childhood sometimes we grow damaged, beaten, abused and we have that choice, we can either repeat that cycle or, we can totally break it.
    Such a wonderful read that you did this for your daughter. Lovely, gentle, honest.

  6. its what great parents do. and you are one.
    love and light

  7. Really good piece. Not just in style but in message too. Well done, really appreciate this poem, thanks for sharing:)

  8. Fantastic piece on having to let the little ones grow though there is that little piece that doesn't want them to have the chance to fail or be hurt as one might have been once before....

  9. Awww this is beautiful I really hope that my daughter will grow up to be a strong, confident woman too and so far she is =)

  10. Beautiful touching write. We strive so hard for our children, without a clue on how to go about for most of it. Isn't beautiful to have moments like this to let us know we've done something right? Take this pat on the back, you've earned it.

  11. Very touching. You got to relive through her childhood. Nice.

  12. This is so heartfelt, and inspriring, very well written, Bravo on the write, and powerful motherhood, Thank you, much appreciated, WS


Please share your thoughts!