Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Hurting

Angry.
So angry.
Cold tears of yet-again betrayal
slowly creeping down my cheeks.
Why does everyone keep lying
about what really happened and
the content of her character?
The finger pointing and judgments
just keep coming, even after years
of living amends.
Could they ever even consider that
the first eighteen years strongly shaped
the following thirty?
(Promiscuity, alcoholism, miscarriages, divorce -
brokenness and an inability to cope/live;
we were never taught the proper skills, so we
'managed' as well as adult children can
with no other options offered except
constant criticism.)
I strive daily to shield myself and
live my truth
but poisonous vapor-like comments
somehow manage to find the
microscopic cracks in my scarred soul.
There seems to be a determination
among the survivors
to make a silk purse out of a
sow's ear.
And perhaps she was a saint
at the end.
(I wouldn't know - I wasn't allowed in.)
But what about all the time before that?
And the pain and hurts caused, never healed
or regretted, by her?
Does alleged sacrifice heal
actual, real harms?
I do forgive, reluctantly.
But I will never forget
the abandonment
that is going on
even now.

(Today's poetry prompt: my own pain.)
(Posted for Jingle Poetry, "Saints, Monks, & Meditation" theme, 6-26-11)


I've been invited to participate in the Promising Poet's weekly rally.  Here's the link back to the rally so you can read more great submissions.

18 comments:

  1. sad, well delivered anger and frustrations.

    ReplyDelete
  2. what a poignant piece... beautifully written! thanks for sharing. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. welcome,

    beautiful expression on anger and more
    you rock!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Honest, brutal, but beautifully penned.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Poet?...Absolutely! Poetry is healing. Hopefully it is salve for your "Hurting". Well written,

    ReplyDelete
  6. Usually when people use parenthesis in poems, they come off sounding trite. not so much here. i enjoy the honesty of this poem.

    ReplyDelete
  7. This is heavy...very well written...emotions are well expressed.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I hurt for you.
    i wish hope love and wellness will follow you.
    Hugs
    Luna

    ReplyDelete
  9. I can somehow relate myself to this, thank for the wonderful share and deliver, I just wish I can scream out loud for this=)

    ReplyDelete
  10. incredible.
    keep it up.

    Happy Potluck!

    ReplyDelete
  11. This one left me reeling with the intensity of emotion.
    http://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2011/06/27/in-the-vein-of-francis-bernardone/

    ReplyDelete
  12. wow how intense ...sense a cry for understanding, everyone make mistakes but some are never forgotten ...thank you for sharing

    ReplyDelete
  13. Thank you for sharing this emotional poem.

    ReplyDelete
  14. strong and emotional...very good

    ReplyDelete
  15. I feel like I'm repeating the same comment every time I've read any of your pieces... Brilliant! Amazing! Spot on! I just hope you never get tired of hearing it, because it is sincerely heartfelt as I say it. I would love to meet the person behind this, I am sure we would have quite a bit to talk about if we ever got to see behind the other person's mask. Thank you - again - for putting words to some of my emotions (not taking away any of yours in the process). Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  16. You have an amazing flair for piercing the emotional wall with accuracy - lovely verse with a harsh edge

    ReplyDelete
  17. Incredible this is one of my favorites you've written its really captures similar events in my life at the moment. Very powerfully written and emotional. You are such a talented writer

    ReplyDelete

Please share your thoughts!