She pushed the door shut with her bottom
threw her cloak on the marble table
Being the goddess of love and beauty
certainly presented its own unique challenges
in the modern world of dating sites
and matchmaking services.
What a pain in her beautiful ass to observe
humans who don't describe or perceive themselves
accurately and use twenty year old photos
to lure unsuspecting and equally dishonest mates.
She stepped out of her sandals as she
drew a bath, thinking
it'd been a while since she gotten a little
herself, but Zeus!
Ares had gotten a little wild in the Middle East
and she just wasn't going to wade through
that minefield, even for a little nookie.
She filled the scallop-shaped jet tub,
throwing in a handful of foaming beads,
remembering the good old days when a magic girdle and
the toss of one's head
brought many a gorgeous Adonis flocking to her bed.
Sinking into the warm bubbly water,
she hoped Hephaestus wouldn't be home
any time soon.
(NaPo prompt: retell a Greek myth with modern trappings.)
(Also posted for Gooseberry Garden Poetry Picnic Week 6,
"Stories from Mythology, Culture, and of Life", 9/26/11)