Thursday, February 26, 2015

Almost (laughter)

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Ah

Ah ha

Hahahaha

Almost

Almost once again

did I fall for the romantic patter

the fake interest

the carefully crafted questions

the flattering attention.

And then -

I shared something

that got too close to

what and who

you really are

and

you ran,

telling me it was my fault.

For a few moments,

I really did think

it was mine

and then I realized

what had really happened.

Funny.

I caught myself just in time.

My instinct was once again

dead on.

(Posted for Imaginary Garden with Toads, "The Tuesday Platform", 2/24/15 and  Hyde Park Poetry "Thursday Poet Rally", 2/26/15)

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Love is not a greeting card

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It's messy
you and I
though we've been separated
two years, there are
still feelings
still connections
still so much commonality.
We fight when one of
us tries to impose their
will or opinions on the other
yet when we are on the same page
we move mountains and
facilitate miracles.
We don't know how to surmount
the problems of gender and honesty
and trust.
Yet we strive to be friends
while living our separate lives
and others wonder, often outloud
how the hell we do it
how we can mostly get along
after years of titanic emotional warfare
and purposeful character assassination.
We don't know either.
We just do.
Because we can.
Because we choose to.
We make our path, together and singly
and it works for us.

(Inspired by the prompt, "Love is not a greeting card" at Poets United, 2/11/15)

Saturday, February 7, 2015

Promise


to never listen to the lies again
to place self first in all matters
to buy my own flowers
   and water my own garden
to never never never
   rely on them ever again.

They have at NO time been
 true-hearted anyway
proven over over over again
dates or dads, losers all.

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Sarcastic eyebrow












And then

then
then

you called
after two month's silence
proffering platitudes
proposed plans

I blink

One eyebrow cocked
mouth slightly quirked

though you cannot see
my expression
through your screen

A few questions later
fair ones, I thought,
you recede after extracting
a promise of a coffee meet.

The girl I was a year ago
would have been delighted

The woman I am now
is jaded and guarded
but happy to be b.s. free

And then...

I'll probably stay that way.


Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Church of...gay

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Fear is what drives them
the Christians.
Fear of
change
letting go of old beliefs
'permitting' others to be themselves
accepting what might have been
  previously unacceptable
  (and why was it, previously?)
  (why was it EVER?)
loving those who love differently
losing control
losing identity
gaining new self
welcoming
or at least
tolerating
divergent beliefs
that are not aberrant
despite what 'they' might say
is supposed to be (normal.)

Did they even remember
that
gay is also
happy
merry
care-free?
That's the original meaning of
the word
not
depraved.

I am not 'gay'
but my heart is inclusive
to those who have found love
and exclusive to those who
refuse to allow others
the autonomy of self.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Pro and con

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I want a relationship
a romantic one
but I won't settle
for less than my dreams
for less than my needs
for less than who I am.

The dating pool is shallow
murky defective lacking.

My life is good better
than it has ever been
yet there is just this
one little area
that I dearly wish
could be fulfilled.

I don't think my needs
are unreasonable
to be treated as an equal
to be sexually passionate
to desire intelligent conversation.

Evidently, either they are
unreasonable
or the time is not
yet.

Tired of waiting.
But still unwilling to settle.

I know me
anything less will not
work and then two people's
live will be 'hell'
because the match is not
right.

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Drifty dreamy

Escaping the daily daily
in daydreams and make believe
fictional journeys and
destinations
soothing the rough edges
of others' behaviors.
Even at work, stealth
inhaling a few lines of
faerie other worlds
is enough to inoculate
for another few hours
remembering the epiphanies
and healings and slipping
them on like a soothing jacket
of soft understanding.